FTV What I've Learned in College (Hint: It Wasn't in Class)
FROM THE VAULT
Honestly I stand by all of this, what can I say? I made valid points.
NOTE: My opinions are always unsolicited (and may I add, correct) and should never be taken seriously.
Fraternities and Sororities
The curious thing about Greek life is I can't decide which group I hate more. I loathe the entire idea of hazing and the wardrobes and attitudes of frat guys. But I also particularly abhor Lilly Pulitzer, Jack Rogers, and compulsive monogramming. Who else has a ton of actually nice and barely used bags/jewelry/stationery that they won't use but can't regift because of this? So it's a tie.
I got REALLY into Bama Rush Tok, but I do not support the Greek system. I just find it fascinating.
People Talking During Class
Believe it or not, I come to class to listen to what the professor has to say, not what you have to say. Okay sometimes I didn't care what the professor had to say, but in that case my second option is Buzzfeed, still not you. The only time I ever spoke in my Public Relations class was to tell the 2 girls in front of me to shut up. How's that for PR?
People Talking During Class
Believe it or not, I come to class to listen to what the professor has to say, not what you have to say. Okay sometimes I didn't care what the professor had to say, but in that case my second option is Buzzfeed, still not you. The only time I ever spoke in my Public Relations class was to tell the 2 girls in front of me to shut up. How's that for PR?
People Standing in the Middle of Sidewalks
They're called sideWALKS not sidestands. There are lovely patches of grass, benches, restaurants and dorm rooms where you can catch up with people. Please note sidewalks are generally used by people who are walking because they have somewhere to be, not because they are wandering around looking for people to talk to.
And this was before Fitbits and Apple Watches so we ONLY walked with a purpose.
Slow Walkers
2 words. The worst. I'm really happy that you have the time to take a leisurely stroll, but most of us have somewhere to be.
Slow Walkers
2 words. The worst. I'm really happy that you have the time to take a leisurely stroll, but most of us have somewhere to be.
As a high school teacher this is still really annoying.
People Stopping in Doorways
May I just ask, how exactly do you expect people to get through the doorway while you are standing in it? If you can get into college you should be able to understand this concept. So either you're an idiot for not getting it or a jerk for not caring. Which is it?
People Stopping in Doorways
May I just ask, how exactly do you expect people to get through the doorway while you are standing in it? If you can get into college you should be able to understand this concept. So either you're an idiot for not getting it or a jerk for not caring. Which is it?
See above re: high schoolers.
People Sitting in Your Seat
Most people have a seat, or a general section of the room, that they sit in everyday. This is just science, I stand by it, beside it, behind it, on top of it, 2 steps to the left of it, and cha cha real smooth. Unfortunately, if one person sits in someone else's seat, it can ruin that class period for many others. If I sit here, every day, why would you want to mess that up? Why are you so rude? You can't sit with us!
People Sitting in Your Seat
Most people have a seat, or a general section of the room, that they sit in everyday. This is just science, I stand by it, beside it, behind it, on top of it, 2 steps to the left of it, and cha cha real smooth. Unfortunately, if one person sits in someone else's seat, it can ruin that class period for many others. If I sit here, every day, why would you want to mess that up? Why are you so rude? You can't sit with us!
People Saving Seats in Class
That being said, it is ok to have a specific seat. It is not okay to save a seat for your friend. This is college, not kindergarten. In most classes you can't even talk to one another anyway. Please put on your big girl panties before you come to class and learn how to sit on your own.
Whew I was givin' it to 'em! Have I actually gotten NICER with age? Would not have predicted that.
People Who Stand at the Bottom or Tops of Escalators
Like many other things on this list, standing at the bottom or top of an escalator should be an obvious faux pas. If you stand at the bottom or top of an escalator you are obviously not smart enough to use an escalator, so why are you even near one?
People Who Stand at the Bottom or Tops of Escalators
Like many other things on this list, standing at the bottom or top of an escalator should be an obvious faux pas. If you stand at the bottom or top of an escalator you are obviously not smart enough to use an escalator, so why are you even near one?
I am legit anxious about an escalator eating me so this isn't even shade it's sound advice.
People Who Get to Class Early and Sit at the Ends of Rows
Do you want people to have to push past you every few seconds for the next ten minutes? If you get to class before everyone else, sit somewhere where you're not going to be in everyone's way. It's called a win-win.
People Who Get to Class Early and Sit at the Ends of Rows
Do you want people to have to push past you every few seconds for the next ten minutes? If you get to class before everyone else, sit somewhere where you're not going to be in everyone's way. It's called a win-win.
I know the end of the row is a coveted spot. You probably got to class early just so you could sit there. I'm not asking you to fill the courtesy buffer seats between strangers. I'm just asking you to think of this space as a movie theater, not an airplane. And while I don't encounter this issue in huge classrooms anymore, I do sometimes experience it at church. This is probably something I will just have to let go.
Wannabe Hipsters
Hipsters are totally cool, if and only if that's who you really are. Pretending to be a hipster because you think it's a good look makes me wanna barf all over your plaid scarf and burlap Toms.
Wannabe Hipsters
Hipsters are totally cool, if and only if that's who you really are. Pretending to be a hipster because you think it's a good look makes me wanna barf all over your plaid scarf and burlap Toms.
Looking at you, hacky sack boys.
People Who Participate in Class
I still don't understand why some college students feel the need to speak up in every single class session. We get it. You think you're really smart. You want to sound like you know everything. Whatever. One thing you don't know is that the professor finds you just as annoying as the rest of us do.
People Who Participate in Class
I still don't understand why some college students feel the need to speak up in every single class session. We get it. You think you're really smart. You want to sound like you know everything. Whatever. One thing you don't know is that the professor finds you just as annoying as the rest of us do.
I must have been having a baaaaad week when I wrote this but, I'm not wrong.
People Who Do the Assigned Reading
Now for the most part, there are two types of people. People who don't do the reading and liars. But in some rare cases, there are students who do all of the reading for a class. And they need to know that everyone hates them. You may make the rest of us look bad, but you make yourself look worse.
I just want to clarify that this is for those college courses where the assigned reading is like 100 pages you have to pay to print off and not the 5 page articles that my students think violate their Eighth Amendment rights.
Bicyclists
Again, two types of people in the world. Pedestrians and drivers. The only thing they have in common? A hatred of cyclists. Cyclists are the one transportation subgroup that somehow manages to get in everyone's way.
Bicyclists
Again, two types of people in the world. Pedestrians and drivers. The only thing they have in common? A hatred of cyclists. Cyclists are the one transportation subgroup that somehow manages to get in everyone's way.
I was keepin' it 100.
Comments
Post a Comment